My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
