I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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