She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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