): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Randomize
