i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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