Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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