just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
