whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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