You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
