I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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