...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
