Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
