Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
