I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
