im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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