so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
