i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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