respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
