I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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