I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
