I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
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