party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
