I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
