Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Randomize
