yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
is wine microwaveable?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
