Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
