I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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