I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
