that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
