He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
