Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
