Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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