I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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