smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
