You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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