Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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