Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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