Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
