i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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