a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
