I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
