6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
