we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
