Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
