they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
