So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize
