I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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