break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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