I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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