every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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