you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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