I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
