Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
