we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
