lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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