Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
