I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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