My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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